"I know," she promises. "And I'm not ... " She doesn't regret her part in this, in choosing to have the connection remain. She loves the idea of being that much closer to the Horsemen, so she's not having second thoughts because of a moment's frustration.

"I'm just trying not to traumatize you guys," she finishes, rather than say that, however. She figures her feelings on the matter are clear enough, without. "Or make you do all the work."

It shouldn't be all on her, no, but it can't be all on them, either.